Why, Oh Why?

What’s one way to get a really clean kitchen?

Buy a bag of cat food that is apparently infested and come home to gnats all throughout your kitchen.

Yes, that was my Thursday. I was having such a good day too. I wrote two decent stories, left before 6 p.m. and headed to the grocery store. I was going to shop, go the gym and experiment with making Thai food.

Well, I got the grocery shopping done.

When I came home, I noticed a gnat buzzing around the apartment and my first thought was “this is why I hate summer in Florida.” There are bugs everywhere. Just a fact of life. Then I noticed a few more and then I looked up at the door frame of my pantry to see them more or less lined up along the frame. The edge of one of my walls was in similar shape. That is not just a result of warm weather.

Well, I kinda stood there mouth open for a second because I didn’t know whether to cry or yell. Then I did what any young professional would do. I called my mom.

Mom confirmed that it was likely the cat food that brought all these lovely bugs into my home and then gave me a list of instructions. Out went anything that they could possibly lay eggs in — flour, sugar, oats, wheat bran, brown sugar, baking soda and graham cracker crumbs (well, I discovered those were past the expiration date anyway). Needless to say, I’m going to have to make a big shopping trip in the near future to buy all that stuff.

And I armed myself with a bottle of Chlorox. My kitchen looks like I’m moving. In addition to throwing out a lot of things, I removed all the dishes and remaining food not likely to be attacked by these unwelcome visitors out of the cabinets and chloroxed them. (The cabinets, not the food) I have bags of spices, cooking spray, oils, etc. now sitting in a box in my bedroom and the dishes out on the table.

I worked on it for a few hours last night and the situation seems to have improved drastically. I have killed a few bugs this morning too. Mom says I’m going to need to chlorox the cabinets maybe one or two more times before I put everything back in. Until then, I’m walking around with the Chlorox like it’s a gun ready to strike down any bug I see. This is war.

Oh the things you learn as a 25-year-old…


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